Domestic violence is once again in the forefront of the news. This is in part due to abusive incidents with sports figures or celebrities that have become very public. Abuse is not always as obvious as being hit or shoved, called degrading names or cussed out. In fact, it can very well be underhanded or subtle. This is the kind of abuse that often sneaks up on you as you become more entrenched in the relationship.
Those who have been emotionally abused may later experience anxiety, depression , chronic pain , PTSD and substance abuse issues.
In time, self-doubt creates a loss of trust in your perception and judgment, making you all the more vulnerable to a partner who wants to control you. Lambert , psychotherapist and author of Women with Controlling Partners. There is truth to the saying that behind every mean or sarcastic remark is a grain of truth. They deny being withdrawn, and you start panicking, trying hard to get back into their good graces.
Done often enough, this can turn a relatively independent person into an anxious pleaser — which is where your partner wants you.
The ways your partner reacts to your accomplishments or positive feelings about something can be telling.
Does he show little interest or ignore you? Over time, confronted with hurtful responses, your sense of confidence and trust in your own competence can slowly diminish. The process of withholding affection or emotional or financial support is not always understood as abusive. Most people equate abusive behavior with the infliction of harm. If a woman feels hurt, afraid or angry with her partner, she will not feel safe and open around him, and her body will respond accordingly.What is Emotional Abuse? SIGNS you are in an emotionally abusive relationship
Try to be open to these, trust your gut, don't make excuses. Do you share your dreams and plans with your partner? If not, why not? Is your excitement about your new project or hobby met with snorts and snide remarks? Healthy relationships are supportive. Those in them don't always agree on plans or next steps, but they hear each other out respectfully.
Signs you are dating an emotional abuser
A non-abusive partner is happy when opportunities come your way. Sound like an alternate universe to yours? Pay attention to that.
Seems like everyone is complimenting your new wardrobe, recent weight loss, or latest blogpost. Everyone, that is, except the one person who should be leading the cheering section.
Your emotionally abusive partner is far more invested in tearing you down and keeping you down. He really doesn't want you feeling good about yourself.
21 Warning Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship
If you do, you might realize you could do better elsewhere. So, instead of loving praise, you'll get reactions that take you down a notch or two. You're really sad about putting your dog down, your uncle's illness, or losing that road race. You could really use a shoulder to cry on. But you know you can't rely on your partner for that.
In order to stay in control, emotional abusers need your focus to be on them. Their tolerance for your woes is limited because they need to quickly get back to their fix: A loving partner is your soft place to land, and will grieve life's losses right alongside you.
If your partner isn't there for you in the tough times, take note. Few can claim their relationships are free of rocky moments or even rocky periods. It's almost impossible to attach your life to another's and always see eye to eye.
When healthy couples find themselves in these unpleasant phases, they focus on setting things right. They strive for peace in the relationship because that's when they're at their best. Conversely, emotionally abusive relationships thrive on turmoil.