I am a bit of a mystic. Anywho, towards the end of my last soul-crushing, pseudo-relationship, I visited a tarot card reader. I went as a sort of cleansing ritual before the turn of the new year. She began our session began by handing me the cards and instructing me to split them once or twice. Then she spread the cards in rows across the table and began her interpretations.
Then remembers you exist and is very, very excited about it. Makes a lot of elaborate plans with you, then changes them without warning.
Makes you feel like the most adored person on earth. Transforms life into a giant, non-stop adventure. Makes everything seem accessible and possible. Texts you times in a row. Is never not loudly singing show tunes. Is as calming as sitting by the ocean and watching the waves roll in. Is unexpectedly witty, adventurous, committed and paradoxical in the most enticing way.
Hard to get to know once located. Turns you into artwork.
So fun they should be illegal. Tackles problems and makes your life a thousand times easier. Tells it like it is, then makes it better. You may get whiplash trying to keep track of them.
Extremely self-sufficient and capable. The absolute chillest of the chill. Kind of like an encyclopedia, but a fun one you can take on adventures.
Has a tendency to disappear for days or weeks at a time. If disappearing episodes are restricted, grumpiness levels rise. Is hard-pressed to commit to literally anything. Shakes the foundation of your worldview in an affirming way. A lot of unresolved existential dread. Basically a walking affirmation machine. Excellent at talking to anyone. Wise oracle sent from the future to help you sort out your issues.
Tries to make you grow into the best version of yourself when you just want to sit on the couch and watch TV. Has read every book on the planet and can summarize them for you concisely. Can switch from intelligently discussing rocket science to reiki in seconds. Knows the secrets of life, the Universe and everything probably. Not as cuddly as one would hope. Inspires you to become the best version of yourself. Unexpectedly fun at parties. Genuinely motivated to see you thrive in all areas of your life and works relentlessly to make this happen.
Expects you to concede to their standards, some of which are just plain weird. Like a nicer version of your parents. Goes to the end of the earth to make you happy and comfortable. The human embodiment of a warm fireplace on a cold winter night. Favorite household chore is sweeping issues under the rug. Your actual parents will love them. An unprecedented mix of fun and responsible.
Massive hit at dinner parties. The downside, most of those matches were in New York and extended as far as Texas and California. Did I mention that I live in Philadelphia? Online dating can be like starring in a twisted mash-up of Groundhog Da y and 50 First Dates. I was meeting the same types of guy over and over again.
Her survey concluded there were 11 primary categories of men drawn internet dating. Eleven seems to me a rather generous number, but here we go:. The Player- With so many choices, how can he pick just one and why should he? Not the ideal situation, but he was giving me that sexy, Sendhil Ramamurthy vibe. Besides, used to live in DC and had some friends there I wanted to visit. After a few exchanges, we decide to move off OKCupid and exchanged emails every day for over a week.
Then he sent this email:.
Online dating typen
I guess all that pressure to be in an exclusive relationship was weighing you down. Even before we got a chance to meet. My experiences with younger men defy all logic. Maybe his divorce is almost final and he wants you to fill the empty spaces until he feels whole again.Online Dating Guide For Women (How to Land a Quality Man Online)
His next girlfriend must be beautiful with a brick-house body and give him amazing sex every day. Is that so much to ask? When I was on Match, I noticed one guy who looked at my profile several times without ever sending me a message. We matched on every point of our criteria right down to our favorite movies.
The Pros and Cons of Dating Each Myers-Briggs Personality Type
He deserves a young hottie because:. A He makes a lot of money and will spoil you rotten. If he cared about his social life half as much as his abs, he would stop pretending to meet women on the internet. His initial approach may be standard enough and then BAM! He writes something supremely perverted.
He can go from zero to fuckboi in 60 seconds or less.